Saturday, June 20, 2009

Thankful my Father chooses to love

Currently in an angry phase.  Not sure what started it.  It may have been my nearly new sandals not selling on Ebay, again.  All I know is the anger came and has yet to leave.  A few weeks ago we decided to attend a soccer game.  A young friend we know from church was playing.  On the way to the game we were going to stop by the store to freshen up my jewelry display.  This turned into the first of a string of yelling days.  I didn't realize until getting into the car that Andy needed to buy staples to finish off a display item and according to my time frame this would make us late.  If you know me at all, I do not enjoy being late.  Even thinking about the possibility that we would be late was enough to boil me.  I was running on toxic anger fumes.  I kept inhaling and decided I didn't want to replace the filter.  I chose to remain in my state of anger.  

We got to the store with the staples.  Almost to a parking spot but not before a man with a really long cart decided to cross our path.  This man had lumber sticking out haphazardly with little plants precariously perched on top of his really, really long cart.  He didn't know that it would have been best for him to have remained home that day, according to my anger meter.  Andy, being the gentlemen he is waved him on to cross in front of our vehicle.  I was thinking that the man would quickly wheel on out to his car never to be seen again.  Wrong.  We spotted an open spot two rows over.  This happened to put us in route to following this man and his cart.  At a snails pace we trailed behind him hoping to reach the spot before someone else did.  Just about there and the cart stopped right in front of us.  For some reason the man decided to leave it 2 parking places down from his vehicle in front of the only open spot for as far as the eye could see.  He then proceeded to open up his trunk.  Waiting we were, fake smile plastered on my face as I gave him the courtesy "take your time- it really is OK- I understand you have a lot going on at the moment- really don't need to get into the store at all today" look.  Not sure if it was my anger that fueled us but we did end up eventually getting to the game on time.

Today there is anger as I am yelling at the kids to find my bathing suit top.  It's not a bikini top mind you.  I'm hoping I cleared that up before your mind decided to entertain you with the vision of me in a little string thing.  This is the full coverage deal.  Seeing as the house is still pretty trashed, bins of clothing toppled out everywhere- the odds are pretty good that the top got tipped out of it's storage place at some point and time.  I have the girls to thank for that.  Earlier today Lily came down with a skirt on that she wore when she was a baby.  Andy feeling vindicated as he says "see, I told you that was too big at the time".  The girls like to dress themselves up along with dressing up anything that's stuffed or has movable parts.  Angry again I did get when I realized that I was to blame.  They destroy.  I get weary of helping them pick up the pieces.  So thankful that my heavenly Father does not grow weary of me.  Swimming I may not be tomorrow as the top has so far not surfaced.  Practicing a spirit of gentleness towards my children who share in my imperfections, I will be.  At least that is my goal...

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